Time Untime (Dark-Hunter #21) - Page 11
Kateri had never been so forward with any man in her life. She had no idea where the courage came from, but she wanted to soothe him in a way she'd never wanted to soothe anyone. No one should be so alone. So abandoned. So humiliated. Especially not a man who had spent eternity protecting others.
A man who had bled to keep her safe. No one had ever given so much to her, and he barely knew her. No wonder he'd gone after the world so ferociously. All it had ever done was kick him in the teeth. She couldn't get over the cruelty she'd witnessed.
For once in his life, he needed to feel appreciated and cared for by someone he'd reached out to.
She nipped at his chin as she unbuttoned his jeans and slid her hand inside to touch him.
Gasping, he caught her hand in his and pulled it back. His breathing ragged, he shook his head. "Don't."
She frowned at his actions. "What's wrong?"
The raw agony in his dark eyes made her ache for him. "I c-c-can't."
His rejection stung her hard. She'd more than felt the proof that he could. He was already hard and wet. What he meant was that he didn't want her.
Clenching her fist, she nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."
Ren scowled at the catch in her voice, at the embarrassed humiliation in her eyes. It was a feeling he knew all too well, and he hated himself for making her feel it now. But the last thing he wanted was to be her pity fuck. That was the only thing worse than being rejected and ridiculed.
Even knowing that he meant nothing to her, it would weaken him where she was concerned and turn him into a mindless toy for her to jerk around. It was what he hated most about himself. If anyone ever managed to show him an ounce of kindness, he was pathetically loyal to them over it.
I am a wretch….
Still, he didn't want her to feel bad. It'd been a kind offer. More than anyone else had ever given him. But he didn't mean anything to her and he knew it. She felt sorry for him and that was all. She didn't really want to sleep with him and he wasn't desperate enough to take advantage of her kind heart.
"It's not you, Kateri. It's not. The last time I slept with a woman, I almost ended the world. I've been twice adopted by evil and I know better than to tempt that part of me. I can't trust myself where you're concerned. If I let my guard down for even an instant, the darkness takes hold of me and I'm lost to it completely."
"I'm not asking for your soul, Ren. I'm only offering you comfort."
He laughed bitterly at his own frail stupidity. "And that is my weakness. Do not be nice to me."
Kateri stood there, staring at him in the dim light. He was serious about that. He honestly wanted her to hate him. And for what?
Fear of intimacy?
No, it wasn't that. She could feel it inside her. He was terrified of becoming her lapdog. Because in his mind, he was so desperate for any kindness at all, that once given, he would do anything to get more of it. Like a junkie wanting a fix.
Her heart broke for him. "Comfort is not a weakness."
"Yes, it is. In the wrong hands it's the cruelest weapon of all. And I don't want your kindness or your comfort. I don't need it."
But she knew better. He wanted to be held as much as she wanted to hold him. How sad that he couldn't trust her for the most basic human needs of all.
To be accepted and valued.
"Is there really no one you trust?"
"Only Buffalo."
An image of the handsome man in her visions flashed through her mind. "The friend you had as a boy who stood up for you? The one you used to sign with?"
His face went pale. "How do you know about that?"
She held her hands up to assure him that she wasn't intentionally prying into his past. "I've seen a lot of your life through visions. I never asked for them. I swear. They just come and go, in snippet pieces that I don't understand most of the time. But they've told me a lot about you. I even know that Ren is short for Renegade because you consider yourself a traitor to your family and people."
He stood in front of her, looking bereft of everything except self-loathing. "I don't consider myself a traitor. I am one. I have twice over betrayed everyone who trusted me. And I do mean everyone."
She didn't believe that for even a heartbeat. "Your father never trusted you."
"My brother did."
Kateri drew her brows together as she tried to picture what he described. Oddly enough, she'd never seen a single vision with his brother in it, other than the one when his brother had been ill as a child, and even then, his brother had been nothing more than a shapeless lump underneath bedcovers. She'd only seen allusions to his brother, but never his face or form.
But the one thing she had seen and that she could feel was that he did love his brother. Dearly. "I can't believe you'd betray him without cause."
His features hardened. "You don't know me, Kateri. What I'm capable of. I swore a sacred oath to protect my brother and for over a year I brutally tortured him."
A shiver went down her spine at what he said and from the look of hatred on his face. "Why?"
Shame filled his eyes as he stepped away from her.
As she suspected, he hadn't done it for pleasure. He'd been motivated to it by something or someone. "Tell me, Makah'Alay."
He turned back toward her faster than she could blink. Rage contorted his features as he curled his lip. "Don't call me that!" he snarled between clenched teeth. "Ever!"
His anger caught her off guard. She'd never seen any inclination in her visions that his real name bothered him. "Why?"
"It's not my name either." He returned to stand directly in front of her so that he dwarfed her with his height. His ravaged emotions were tangible as he glared down at her.
Yeah, okay, he was really fierce and scary. But she refused to cower. She would stand toe to toe with him no matter what, because that was what she'd been taught.
The Cherokee don't run. Sometimes they might want to. Sometimes they ought to. But the Cherokee don't ever run. Whatever the danger, you stood strong against it and faced it with everything inside you. That was her grandmother's greatest legacy and it was hardwired into her DNA.
"Do you know what Makah'Alay means?" His eyes flashed bright red in the darkness. But it came and went so fast that she wasn't sure if it happened or she imagined it.
She shook her head.
"It's the Keetoowah word for crow-demon. Since my mother didn't name me and I was returned to my father by a demon wet nurse, it was what they called me."
No one had given him a name?
"What of your grandmother?"
He scoffed bitterly. "I know nothing of my maternal grandmother. Not even her identity. As for my father's mother … She refused to even look at me or acknowledge me. It was why my father took me to the woods and left me there to die. After refusing to give me a name, she told him I would bring nothing but shame and sorrow to his clan. That I was defective and unworthy of being the son of a chief. And she was right. I brought nothing but misery and embarrassment to all of them."
It wasn't that cut-and-dry. She'd never seen him say or do anything in her visions that would embarrass someone else. While he would at times strike out at someone and fight, he wasn't the one who initiated the conflict. At least not that she'd witnessed.
Which made her wonder one thing…. "Why did you torture your brother?"
The look on his face would melt an iceberg. But instead of answering her question, he pulled her against him and held her there in an iron grip.
Before she could ask him what he was doing, she stood in the past with him.
They were in a huge gilded dining hall, filled with people celebrating the arrival of a beautiful woman and her entourage. Dressed in a bright yellow gown that was decorated with bright embroidery, the woman came into the room surrounded by painted warriors from her clan. She wore an ornate headdress of feathers and gold that stood up around her head like a halo. Her parents followed behind her, standing proud as they presented her to the chief and his sons. Something that was very different from the customs of Kateri's tribe where the husband went to live with the wife's clan when they married.
Ren stood next to a man who looked so much like him that they could easily be mistaken for twins. The only way to tell them apart was by their posture. Ren kept his eyes cast down, his head lowered, and shoulders slumped. His brother stood straight with an arrogance that couldn't be missed. It was as if he knew he owned the world and he expected everyone to bow down before him.
Even Ren.
Their father stepped forward to welcome the woman and her parents to their home.
"Butterfly, it is an honor to have you here. You are as beautiful as they have claimed. More so, in fact."
Her dark eyes glittered like gems in her perfect face. She smiled up at him and it was dazzling. "You are far too kind, Chief Coatl." Then, seductively biting her lip in eager anticipation, she looked past him to where Ren and his brother stood. "But no one told me you had twin sons. They are both handsome and strong. I'm sure they bring great honor to you and your clan."
Ren looked up in stunned surprise at that kind comment to meet her gaze. The moment he did, his jaw went slack and hunger filled his eyes. He straightened his spine to show that he was actually taller than his brother. And with his shoulders squared, it became obvious that he also had a larger, more defined physique. The sight of him actually having a degree of pride brought a smile to Kateri's lips. How kind of Butterfly to say something so sweet and make him feel better about himself.
A tic worked in his father's jaw as he stiffened indignantly. "They're not twins, Butterfly, and they're nothing alike. Believe me. No one matches my heir in any capacity. He is truly the finest warrior ever born."
Ren winced as if he'd been physically slapped.
With his back to Ren, his father continued speaking to Butterfly. "I fear I am the only thing they have in common…. They couldn't be more opposite-in all things." His father took her hand, then led her toward his brother, but not before he rudely shouldered Ren out of the way.
Deflating immediately back into his former stance, Ren glanced about as he realized how many people had witnessed his father's verbal and physical swipe at him. Butterfly's father scowled at Ren, but said nothing as Ren's father introduced Butterfly to his brother.
"It is with the greatest honor that I present you to my son-the future chief of our people, Anukuwaya."
Pride of the Wolf Clan. Kateri sucked her breath in as she finally caught the dual meaning of his brother's name. It not only meant the pride of his clan, it was an ancient name for Coyote-the great trickster.
Coyote stepped forward to take the hand of his future bride. "Butterfly … you are truly the most beautiful woman ever born. You honor our home by being here and I swear I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never regret your decision to accept me as your husband. Welcome."
Her smile was dazzling. "It's my pleasure and honor to be here, Anukuwaya. I promise that I shall always strive to bring nothing but happiness to you and your clan." She turned expectantly toward Ren. When no one moved to introduce them, she exchanged a nervous, puzzled frown with her mother, who shrugged in awkward confusion as to why he was being publicly dissed.
Ren's friend stepped forward to address her curiosity. "His name is Makah'Alay, and he is the elder brother of your future husband."
"Buffalo!" his father snapped. "Mind your place!"
Ever loyal, Buffalo shrugged innocently. "I was only being hospitable, my most honored chief. She was curious about your eldest son"-Kateri cringed as Buffalo recklessly rammed that dig home-"and so I obliged her. No offense was meant to anyone." He offered Butterfly a smile and something unspoken sparked between them. A mutual admiration that left Kateri wondering about the two of them and their relationship.
Coatl passed a cold smile to Buffalo before he spoke to Butterfly and her parents. "You'll have to forgive my warrior. Since Makah'Alay was born mentally retarded, Buffalo champions him constantly and is his voice since he doesn't have one of his own."
Several of the others present laughed and whispered among themselves while Ren swallowed hard. He tightened his grip on his bow until his knuckles turned stark white.
"I'm surprised you kept him," Butterfly's father said. "It was my understanding that your people killed such infants at birth. I am glad to know that your clan has more mercy and decency than I was led to believe. You are indeed a most noble and admirable chief to take pity on a son so afflicted."
Coatl cast a smug glance at Ren. "I try to be patient with him, though he doesn't make it easy. I believe he was sent to remind me that no matter how much we might attain in our lives, we are all still frail humans in the end." He clapped Coyote on the back. "Just a few weeks back, I almost lost Coyote when he rushed to defend Makah'Alay from a vicious wild animal. There aren't many men who'd risk their life to save someone so afflicted."
Her expression one of worship, Butterfly smiled up at Coyote. "You are indeed a most wonderfully brave man. I am thrilled to be marrying such a hero."
Coyote smiled at her, then glanced to Ren. Something that appeared to be an unspoken apology passed between them.
What had really happened?
But Ren didn't give her time to explore that. He pulled her out of his past and stepped away from her as if he was afraid of being too close to her for too long. "I didn't care about being chief. Since my mother wasn't Keetoowah, I never expected it to come to me. It couldn't. Yet by all rights, Butterfly should have been mine. As the eldest, I should have married first. But my father refused, saying I wasn't man enough to provide for a wife. That I wasn't smart enough to have one. So I let my jealousy over their engagement infect me to the point that I took things out on my brother I had no right to. Coyote was a good and decent man until I turned him into the monster he is today."
Somehow, she doubted that. "Why did he give you that look when your father spoke of his saving your life?"
He clenched his teeth hard enough to make the bones in his jaw protrude. "We were hunting."
"Just the two of you?"
He nodded. "We ended up in a fight. Coyote wanted to head to the south where I knew boar made dens. Since we didn't have the right equipment with us to hunt them, I wanted to head east for other game. He wouldn't listen and stormed off without me. Angry, I went east, but I kept having a bad feeling about Coyote so I doubled back. All of a sudden, I heard him yelling for me. By the time I reached him, a wild boar had him treed. I killed the boar, but almost lost my life doing it. By the time I came to, I was in my bed at home and everyone was celebrating Coyote for saving my life."
That irritated her. "Did he not tell your father the truth?"
"He tried, but my father thought he was being humble and didn't believe it."
Kateri narrowed her gaze on the ground as she saw a different play of events in her mind.
Coyote ran toward their town to get help for Ren. Luckily not too far from where he'd left Ren, he came upon two men who were also out hunting. She knew one to be Buffalo. The other she'd seen a few times in other dreams, but he never spoke.
"Choo Co La Tah, Buffalo … I need your help."
"Did you kill your brother?" Buffalo accused as he saw the blood on Coyote's clothes.
"No!" Coyote snapped. "We were hunting when Makah'Alay was attacked by a boar. I managed to kill it, but he's badly wounded. I need help carrying him-"
Buffalo grabbed him by the arm and started running with him before he could finish his sentence. "Show us!"
Coyote took them to where Ren lay beside the boar that was riddled with arrows. The animal had torn him apart.
"Makah'Alay?" Buffalo breathed, reaching to see if he was still alive.
Ren moaned low, but it was enough.
Buffalo picked him up and carried him. "You killed the boar?" he asked Coyote.
"Yes."
"Then why do you have a quiver full of arrows and Makah'Alay has none?"
Coyote curled his lip and gestured to the injury on his own leg. "I was injured, too!"
Buffalo rolled his eyes. "From what? Climbing up a tree like a scared little bitch? You think we're so stupid we don't know the difference between the gash from a boar's tusk and skinning your knee on tree bark?"
Coyote turned to the other man with them, who had retrieved Ren's blood-soaked bow and quiver. "Choo, you believe me, don't you?"
Choo Co La Tah sent a pointed stare at Buffalo. "A wise man does not question his future chief."
Buffalo snorted. "Between wisdom and loyalty, Choo, I pick loyalty and truth. One day, brother, you're going to have to choose too. I hope when that day comes that you're even wiser than you are today."
Coyote snarled at them both. "You may not believe me, but my father will."
"I'm sure he will," Buffalo muttered.
Kateri shook her head. Yeah, for all of Ren's denials, Coyote wasn't the one who had stood by him in her visions.
Only one man had never wavered with his loyalty.
"Your friend, Buffalo … why was he always so quick to defend you?"
"He was a fool."
She laughed at his deadpan tone. "I doubt that. Tell me, Ren. What did you do to make him see the truth?"
Crossing his arms over his chest, Ren let out a long breath before he spoke. "When I was fourteen, a bad epidemic ravaged in our town. It was one of the worst you can imagine. The priests couldn't keep up with the number of deaths, and many of them were too sick to help anyone else, so bodies were piled in the street. People were starving and everyone was scared of catching it. Since I was one of the few who wasn't ill, I'd go hunt and leave fresh meat for those who couldn't feed themselves. One night, as I was leaving some for Buffalo's family, he caught me before I could get away."
Kateri was baffled by his charity, especially given how young he was and how badly they'd treated him. "Why did you help them?"
He shrugged. "I felt guilty. I never had a cold of any kind. Not even a sniffle. I don't know if it's because my mother was a goddess or my nursemaid a demon, but I was always healthy. For weeks, my father and the priests had been sacrificing to no avail, and they blamed me for bringing the sickness to the town. I didn't want the innocent punished because of me so I tried to help as best I could by leaving foodstuffs for the homes that were stricken the worst." He laughed bitterly. "Everyone thought it was Coyote who helped them. They regaled him for his charity for years afterward."
"You never told them the truth?"
Snorting, he shook his head. "No one would have believed me so I kept silent. The last thing I wanted was for my father to beat me for lying about it. When Buffalo finally recovered from the fever, he came to thank me. I told him to forget what he'd seen. Not to tell anyone what I'd done. He swore to me that he was forever in my debt, and that so long as he lived, he would be the most loyal friend ever known."
Now that sounded like the man she'd seen. "And he never told another soul?"
Ren sighed in disgust. "Stupid fool. He never listened to me about anything. He only saw the best in everyone. And he was a firm believer in the old adage that the truth was always the best course of action to take. So, he tried to tell the town who really left the food while they were ill."
"And?" she prompted when he failed to continue the story.
"His father beat him for lying."
She gaped at that. She'd ask if he was serious, but she could tell by the angry look in his eyes that he wasn't making it up. "Why didn't Coyote tell them you were the one who did it? He had to know he hadn't done anything."
"He said if they knew it had been left by me, they wouldn't have eaten it. They would have assumed it tainted. And I knew he was right. They would have, and rather than eat what I left, they'd have starved themselves to death."
Indignant rage for him darkened her sight. She really wanted to beat someone over it. "Your brother was not a good man, Ren. Had he been, he would have told your father the truth."
Still, he defended his brother's actions. "You can't tell the truth to someone who doesn't want to hear it, Kateri. Every time Coyote tried, my father thought he was being kind to me, and humble, so all it did was elevate Coyote in his eyes while it lowered me. Coyote always apologized and felt badly for it, but there was nothing he could do. I never held any of it against him until Butterfly. She became the symbol for every slight I'd been given by every person, and it was her presence in our home that made me realize I would never have a life like other men. That no one would ever welcome me as a husband. That I was only a charity case to be pitied at best, ridiculed at worst. Her presence rammed home just how much of nothing I really was in the eyes of everyone."
"You weren't nothing."
"Don't patronize me, Kateri," he growled. "You weren't there. You may have had visions about things that happened, but you didn't really see it. You definitely didn't live it. There's no worse feeling than being trapped in a situation from which you can't escape. In retrospect, I should have found the courage to walk away from all of them, but I was too afraid. I kept thinking that if this was how the people who were supposed to love me treated me, how much worse would a stranger be? Not to mention that those not related to me were every bit as cruel, if not more so. So even if I'd left, it would have been the same wherever I went. I'd be alone and outcast." His gaze cold, he dropped his voice an octave. "And I've since had eleven thousand years of moving from place to place to know just how right I was. Nothing ever changes except hairstyles and clothing."
She wanted to deny it, but she knew in her heart that he was right. People could be unbelievably cruel, and in spite of what he thought, she wasn't naive. She'd had her own share of insensitive comments over the years.
Still, there was much he wasn't telling her. "So what did you do when they married?"
He shrugged. "They didn't marry. She fell in love with Buffalo the moment he spoke up for me on the day of her arrival."
"Oh…" She cringed internally over something she hoped hadn't been blamed on him. "I take it that didn't go over well."
"No. It did not." Ren brushed his hand through his hair. "I destroyed all their lives. But for me, Coyote would have married her and they would have had a good life together."
She didn't believe it. "Had you not saved him, your father wouldn't have arranged the marriage. Butterfly would have married someone else anyway." She moved to lay her hand on his cheek. "They were responsible for their own lives, Ren. And all but Buffalo were cruel to you. You were in pain and none of them cared."
He started away from her, but she caught him again.
"You can trust me, Ren. You can. I would never take advantage of your heart."
Ren wanted to believe that, but as he'd said, nothing ever changed. He never changed. "I was born broken, Kateri. I'm not like other men. I can't have what they have."
"You're wrong. But I won't push you." She rose up on her tiptoes to place a chaste kiss on his cheek. Then, she whispered in his ear. "And for the record, I think you're the sexiest man I've ever seen."
Those words meant everything to him. Everything. This is just more torture for you.
It was true. Her presence. Her kindness. How cruel to have her here, knowing there was nothing he could do to keep her.
And he was tired of being kicked.
"We have to leave. We've been lucky that nothing has found us."
She nodded. "What do you need me to do?"
Stay with me. He wasn't sure where that thought came from or why it was there. It'd popped into his head before he could stop it.
"Just stay focused. I think I've healed enough that I should be able to get us out."
Kateri inclined her head to him. "All right. Fingers crossed."
Cabeza barely made it to Talon's before the sky unleashed a furious blood-red downpour. Thunder clapped so hard it shook the house, while lightning flashed again and again.
"You all right?" Talon asked as Cabeza took body inventory to make sure he hadn't been singed by anything. Or that Chacu hadn't ripped something off while he wasn't paying attention.
"Si. Yeah." Cabeza turned to find Talon's wife Sunshine on the black leather couch next to Acheron Parthenopaeus, who was holding her infant son. He did a double take on Ash's short black hair as a sick feeling went through him. "Madre de Dios … it is a sign of the Apocalypse. What happened to your hair? Did someone scalp you?"
Never in all these centuries had he seen Acheron with short hair. No matter the fashion or time period, it'd always been down to the middle of his back.
Always.
"Relax," Ash said with a hint of laughter in his voice. "Tory and I donated our hair to Locks of Love on Bastian's first birthday to show our appreciation for having a healthy baby. It'll grow back."
Grow back?
Maybe, but this … this had evil written all over it.
"Hey," Sunshine said to Cabeza with a wide grin. "You should have seen it six months ago. It started out as a crew cut."
Bug-eyed, Cabeza was momentarily speechless as he tried to imagine the intrepid Dark-Hunter leader with a crew cut. "Out of all the shit I've seen in the last two days, that is the only thing that truly frightens me. I think we just sped up the final countdown."
Rolling his eyes at him, Acheron handed the baby back to its mother, then stood. His long, black leather coat settled down around his dark red Doc Martens. Though Acheron was the oldest of the Dark-Hunters by years, he physically was their youngest. He'd only been twenty-one when he'd died. And honestly, he looked more like a teenager until you saw his eyes. Only they betrayed his ancient age….
And his wisdom.
Rain came out from the rear of the house. He still had a black eye from where Cabeza had rescued him in Las Vegas. "Any word on Teri?" he asked Cabeza.
"It's worse than we thought. They are in Xibalba."
Acheron cursed. "No wonder I couldn't find them with my powers." He glanced over to Rain to explain. "I can't see into another pantheon's hell realm without going to it physically."
Talon let out a nervous laugh. "I try to avoid descending into hell realms as much as possible."
Ash scratched at the back of his neck as if that comment made him uncomfortable for some reason. "Out of curiosity, do you know what level they're in?"
"As far as I can tell, the first."
Ash let out a relieved breath. "You think Ren knows better than to descend past the fourth level?"
Cabeza thought it over. Ash was right, if Ren and the Ixkib descended below the water level, there was no coming back. They would be in Xibalba forever. "Since it's Mayan, I wouldn't count on it. He might not even know where he is."
"Well," Talon said, "we can look on the bright side."
This, Cabeza had to hear. "And that would be?"
"No one can reach the time stone, right?"
Cabeza inclined his head to him. "True. But there is a problem."
"And that would be?" Talon explained.
"If she doesn't make it to the temple by week's end, the Daimons won't be our worst fear, amigo. Imagine every known piece of evil from all pantheons unleashed simultaneously on this earth. Every demon and predator that has been put down by priests and shamans for centuries…"
Ash went completely still at those words.
"Is something wrong?" Talon asked.
Ash didn't respond. Rather, he vanished from the room where they had gathered, and took himself to his own realm. Katateros. It was the Atlantean heaven realm where their gods had once ruled their island kingdom and made war against the Greek pantheon.
It was here that Ash's mother, Apollymi, had destroyed her family over what they'd done to Acheron when she'd been forced to hide him in the human realm.
Using his god powers, he threw open the ornate doors at the main hall and walked across the foyer where the symbol of their power lay. The moment he did, his jeans and T-shirt turned into the ancient robes of his people and his own symbol of a sun pierced by three lightning bolts appeared on the back of it.
"Alexion!" he called as he entered the throne room.
His friend and servant appeared instantly. Barely three inches shorter than Acheron, Alexion had once been an ancient Greek soldier and was one of the first Dark-Hunters Artemis had created.
He was also the first Dark-Hunter who'd died without his soul. To save him from suffering over Acheron's mistake, Acheron had pulled him into Katateros, where Alexion existed in a noncorporeal form. While not ideal, it wasn't nearly as bad as the alternative.
His blond hair tousled, Alexion was still buttoning his shirt. "What's wrong, akri? You never bellow like that. Simi eat someone she shouldn't?"
Ash ran his hand over the dragon tattoo on his forearm that was Simi in her dormant state. She was his Charonte demon and his personal bodyguard.
But more than that, she was his daughter, and he would do anything to protect her from harm.
"No, she's fine. I