My Haunted House (Araminta Spook #1) - Page 9
AMBUSH KIT
You need a lot of stuff for an Awful Ambush. And most of the things I needed were–bats. Lots and lots of bats. So I went off to Uncle Drac's turret to catch as many as I could. I'm pretty good at catching bats, as I always help Uncle Drac with them whenever they escape. Aunt Tabby hates bats. She thinks that they are going to nest in her hair, but no self-respecting bat would want to go anywhere near Aunt Tabby's hair, as it is stuffed full of hairpins.
They would be bat-kebabs in five seconds flat. Anyway, I found my bat sack and soon I was crawling very carefully along a rafter at the top of the turret. Uncle Drac was fast asleep, snoring in his sleeping bag, which hung from the rafters and swayed with each snore. There was a crowd of bats fast asleep all around him, although I don't think the bats were snoring. Or perhaps I just couldn't hear them. Maybe bat snores are too high- pitched for humans to hear. "Here, bats, " I whispered, and scooped up as many as I could and stuffed them into the sack. The bats didn't mind; they liked my bat sack. Well, all except Big Bat, who does not like anything, as he is a grumpy old bat.
But I really wanted to have Big Bat in the ambush since I figured he would be pretty scary.
I grabbed him when he wasn't looking, and he squeaked really loudly. Uncle Drac stopped snoring and snuffled a bit in his sleeping bag, and I froze. I really didn't want him to wake up, as I knew he would not let me have any of his precious bats, even if they were going to save the house from a lot of stupid people who wanted to take it away from us. Uncle Drac's bats are more important to him than anything else in the world. When I had enough bats, I took them all down to Sir Horace's room and left them roosting in the dark. They looked really happy. The next thing I needed for the Awful Ambush Kit was . . . Strawberry Jell-O. This was more difficult, as I had to go back into Aunt Tabby's territory.
I had to get to the fourth- kitchen-on-the-right-just-past-the-boiler- room. I zoomed by the boiler room at top speed, and I didn't see Aunt Tabby anywhere, although there was a large pile of soot in the corner, so I knew she'd be around soon to sweep it up. In no time at all, I was in the fourth- kitchen-on-the-right-just-past-the-boiler- room and had found what I was looking for–a giant box of mix for Extra-Sticky Strawberry Jell-O. I had made two buckets full of strawberry Jell-O and was slowly slopping my way along the basement corri- dor with them when, sure enough, I heard Aunt Tabby. "Is that you, dear?" she called out. I don't like it when Aunt Tabby says "dear" like that, -90- through gritted teeth. It always means trouble. I sped up as fast as I could, but it was too late. You can never escape Aunt Tabby, however hard you try. As I splashed past the open door to the boiler room, the large pile of soot spoke to me. "Well done, dear, " said the pile of soot. "It's very sweet of you to clean your bed- rooms. It makes such a difference if people see a nice clean house. I just hope they get to see a nice clean boiler as well.
"The pile of soot shook itself, and I could see it was really Aunt Tabby with a broom. "You know, I have a funny feeling that these people will be just right for the house, " she said. I stomped off with my buckets. "Funny feeling, " I muttered. "I'll show them a funny feeling all right. " I soon had all the other stuff for the Awful Ambush. I had:
Q a large bag of assorted spiders Q a big pile of pillowcases Qa massive tub of strangled ghost squealers Q a huge box of balloons Q a giant bag of flour QQQ
I took it all down to Sir Horace's room and dumped it in a big pile in the middle of the floor. Phew. And then someone coughed. I jumped about six feet into the air and nearly fell into a bucket of Extra-Sticky Strawberry Jell-O. "Hello, " said Edmund. "You shouldn't go creeping up on people like that, " I told him, "especially if you are a ghost. Someone could hurt themselves. " "But Sir Horace told me to come and help you, " Edmund said. "He said that there were some people coming who were going to put him in a dust bin with some bicycles and make him into cat food. But I do not understand why they wish to do this. " "It's because of the Tabitha, " I told Edmund. "Ah, " said Edmund, "I see. "
After that Edmund was really helpful. First we got the "ghosts" ready– Edmund blew up the balloons and I put the squealers in. I tied a slipknot around the ends so that I could set them off quickly. I put the balloons in the pillowcases and poured flour over them, then I opened the fireplace and Edmund wafted the "ghosts" out onto the balcony. Next I scooped all the spiders out of the spider bag and hung them from the bars of the balcony. It was perfect–they dangled just above the place where people always stopped with their mouths wide open.
Last of all I carried out the buckets of Extra-Sticky Strawberry Jell-O and set them up on the edge of the balcony. We left the bats sleeping in Sir Horace's room until they were needed. Then Edmund and I sat down behind the buckets and waited.
We were ready for anything.